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Sunday, December 18, 2016

14 Honest Questions ThePerson You Marry ShouldBe Able To Answer

If you’re thinking about tying the
knot then be sure that your future
life partner to-be can honestly
answer these questions to your
liking:
1. Why do you love me? People seem
to feel this is a question that doesn’t
especially need answering. Most will
say we love others simply because
we love them — a horrible answer.
All people need to know exactly why
it is that they love the people they
love. Loving someone is a very
selfish act, and it’s okay. You love
the person you love for what that
person does for you and how he or
she makes you feel. We may all have
slightly different answers as to why
we love someone, but if we aren’t
able to exactly define the
parameters of our love, then we’re
likely to struggle later on once the
initial intensity dies down. If your
partner can’t answer why he or she
loves you now, then imagine the
inevitable uncertainty down the
road.
2. Why do you want to spend the
rest of your life with me? “Because I
love you” is not a good answer. Life
is a journey — one that is best not
traveled entirely alone. However,
not everyone has the same
destination in mind. Wanting to
take different pit stops along the
route is one thing. Wanting
different things out of life is another
entirely. Your partner should be
able to tell you what life experiences
he or she hopes to share with you.
It’s these little goals you set for
yourselves that make your life
special.
3. Will you do your best to keep the
romance alive? Keeping the
romance alive is not an easy task.
Yes, it’s all mental, but keeping
interest for such a long time is
difficult. It takes a lot of work and
creativity. It takes the other person
regularly trying to please and
impress you, which in itself becomes
increasingly difficult with each new
year. Romantic love cannot survive
on its own; both of you are going to
have to maintain it constantly. Is
your partner willing to keep the
romance as one of his or her main
priorities?
4. Will you grow with me, and not
away from me? We may not know
exactly where our lives will take us
and what we will learn — who we
will become — along the way, but
we can make a conscious effort to
grow closer together and not apart.
Jayme Burrows Most people grow
apart over the years because they
feel like they’ve accomplished
everything in their relationships
that needs accomplishing. This is
one main reason marriages end up
being so horrible — people think
that there is no greater peak to
climb than the one their
relationship is already resting on.
Marriage shouldn’t be the end, it
should be the beginning.
5. Will you stick through the rough
times? The good times are a piece of
cake. The difficult times,
however, will destroy your
relationship if you allow them to.
There comes a point in every
relationship when you have to make
a decision. It’s a decision that, if
made, is only made once. You will
reach a point where you will either
decide you are going to be there for
this person for the rest of his or
her life, or not. If you decide you’re
going to stick with this person then
you can’t allow any tragedy or
outside force to shake that
decision. This is one of the most
important decisions we make in our
lives — or, as it often turns out, fail
to make decisively. Has your lover
made the decision? Have you?
6. Are you willing to lose some
battles in order to keep the peace?
The key to a successful marriage is
taming your ego. No matter how
competitive we are, sometimes you
just need to pick your battles.
Sometimes the arguments and the
stress just aren’t worth it. What you
need to understand is that 99
percent of arguments aren’t
arguments over fact, but rather over
opinion. An opinion is neither right
nor wrong. Sometimes you just have
to let things be.
7. Can you promise to put us ahead
of everything else? Life has a lot to
offer. And if you’re anything like
me, you have a very large appetite.
We want everything life has to
offer, and then some. The problem
is we don’t have enough time to
have it all; our lives are too short.
We can only pick a few things we
consider important and do our best
to flourish in those areas. Lauren
Naefe The beauty of marriage is that
it can be used as a base to build the
rest of your life on. Your partner
should be just that: your partner.
Your relationship is the most
important thing in your life because
it’s what makes the rest of your life
possible.
8. Will you be a great parent? Again,
how could anyone know he or she
will be a great parent? Easy. You
just decide you’re going to be. That’s
it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a
decision and then action. Some
things don’t need too much thinking
involved. You’re going to be great
because you decided you will be.
Will your lover do the same and be
a great role model for your
children?
9. Will you be sure to remind me
how much you love me regularly?
People not only want, but need to
hear it. We need to be reminded
you love us because we know that
love doesn’t always last forever. We
want to hear the words and then
have that reassurement reinforced
with actions showing how much you
love us. It really is enough just to
love us, but understand you need to
love us the way we need to be loved
— just like we need to love you the
way you need to be loved in order
for you to be happy.
10. Can you promise to do all you
can to keep that spark alive? Sparks
don’t spark on their own. Think
about how a lighter works. You have
a spark that lights the fuel,
which creates a flame. But how does
that spark, spark? You have to
create a force that will result in the
energy creating a spark. Just the
same, you can’t expect sparks to
keep flying if you’re not trying. If
you want to have a happy and
healthy marriage, then you need to
find someone willing to devote the
necessary energy.
11. Will you support me if I can’t
support myself? Not just financially,
but mentally. Maybe even physically
if necessary. No one knows what life
holds. The unexpected happens,
often leaving us weak, hurt or even
permanently damaged. Will your
partner carry you when you can’t
walk? Will your partner support you
when you’re weak at the knees? Will
your partner carry the family you’ve
created until you regain your
strength? Is your partner capable of
mustering the strength to fight
battles for the both of you?
12. Will you promise to continue to
pursue your personal goals and
dreams? Marriage is not entirely the
end of the person you were and the
start of a new you. Sure, being in a
serious relationship does require a
person to change in many ways. Yet,
there’s a part of us we can never,
under any circumstance, let go of.
The dreams, wants and hopes we
have — our personal goals — must
stay alive. Milles Studio When we
lose them, we lose ourselves and
inevitably lose the person we love.
Marriage isn’t just an “us.” It’s also
a you and him/her. You have to
juggle being the person you have
always been with being a part of a
larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is
necessary.
13. Will you not allow yourself to let
go? Will your partner take care of
him or herself by eating healthy and
exercising? Will your partner get
regular checkups and take vitamins?
This may sound silly, but I’ve seen
what letting yourself go can do to a
marriage. Moreover, I’ve seen how
not maintaining your health can
make the lives of those closest to you
incredibly difficult. Yes, your family
should take care of you when you
need to be taken care of — but it’s
your responsibility first and
foremost to take care of yourself. No
people should become a burden to
those they love.
14. If I’m the first to go, will you be
there with me until the end? Will
your partner hold your hand when
you’re too weak to hold it back? Will
your partner kiss your forehead and
tell you he or she loves you, that you
made life worth living? That,
because of you, life made sense?
Will your partner be there for your
last breath, when you find yourself
pressed betwixt fear and content?
No one should leave this world
alone. It’s said that we leave it the
way we come into it, but even when
we come into it, there’s someone
there to hold us. I understand most
people don’t like to think about
death, but seeing as it’s an
inevitability, it’s better to plan
ahead.

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